| Review:
Oh sure, they look like they're having fun. But . .
.
While alcohol
may provoke desire, even moderate amounts spoil the capacity to perform
and respond. Dehydration from alcohol
use leads to less lubrication in the vaginal canal, which increases
potential painful intercourse and condom breakage. Men are not able to
control premature ejaculations when consuming even small amounts of alcohol,
and moderate amounts of alcohol
result in fewer or no orgasms, a decreased quality of orgasms,
difficulty in forming and maintaining erections and uncertain orgasms.
That's from Duke University (where one assumes they should know). In
addition, long term alcohol
use has been associated with testicular atrophy, which can lead to
increased estrogen and decreased testosterone. It may interfere with
normal sperm movement by inhibiting the metabolism of Vitamin A. And the
list goes on. Just so you know: Alcohol and sex really don't mix.
So much for the public service announcement. Now on to Spring Break
University.
Just before we started doing this review we came across a discussion
among some other porn reviewers (yes, there are other
porn reviews) over how played out the whole Spring Break
niche is getting. We could think of things to say for and against. A lot
of things seem even more played out these days. Reality porn for one.
Teen archives for another. But with the Drunk Girls/Party Girls/Spring Break
sites there is the additional fact that so much of this stuff just seems
the same anyway. Roving camera footage of the usual locales (Mardi Gras,
Cancun, Key West, Lake Havasu), with girls flashing their tits, walking
around in tiny bikinis, and getting wasted. And what's the difference
between Lake Havasu in 2002 and Lake Havasu in 2004? It's all voyeurism, exhibitionism,
nudity-in-public stuff, and the teams of photographers
covering these events is now a story in itself. In every picture and
every shot you see people in the background with their digital cameras recording
the events. And so even people shooting exclusive stuff (like these
guys), end up with footage that's just the same as everyone else's. And
all those fucking flashbulbs going off on Bourbon Street wreck the film!
Spring Break University is part of a mini-network of sites ("FB
Members") covering
this niche. The most interesting content is Gorilla Gras (link to
review). In addition to this you get Erotic
Kittens (external link to
a site we didn't review, though we did surf through it quickly, which
means what you probably think it means),
an extra video section and an extra photo section with licensed stuff, a
bunch of "reality porn" plug-ins, and Lightspeed's Hot Shots.
Spring Break University is
like Gorilla Gras without the guy in the monkey suit, and is basically full of more generic content.
As with the other sites what
you have is two main sections: Photos and Videos. They cover the same
action, so we didn't understand why they weren't together. For
example, if you're browsing through the photo galleries and see a chick
you like at Lake Havasu, you have to switch over to the video section
and troll through the videos with your fingers crossed hoping they have
a thumbnail of the same girl to go with her clip. Which might not happen
because there is just one thumbnail per clip and the clips often have a
grab-bag of action.
We also had trouble figuring out the classification system. Even
within Spring Break University's "Photo Content" section you
have the "Featured Content", which is "Spring Break"
(duh), but then a whole bunch of "General Categories"
(including such totally unhelpful general categories as the ever-popular
"Babes" and "Sluts"). By "featured"
content it seems they mean exclusive, since the general category stuff
is not. Under the Spring Break featured content menu you get photo sets
from the usual locations (Cancun, Key West, Lake Havasu, New Orleans,
etc.), plus more general categories like "Non Nude",
"Party Girl Misc.", and "Public Nudity." We couldn't
tell how much of this was exclusive, but we also didn't think it made
much of a difference.
Yes, you're going to have to troll around a bit.
The video section is set up the same way. Again, the featured content
is Spring Break. Another thing we didn't like about this menu is the red
asterisk. A red asterisk (like this *) is put beside the category items that are empty (no
content). We couldn't figure out why they bothered having a link to a category if it had no content. Presumably they plan on putting some
content in there at some point, but we had no idea what the update
schedule was for any of these sites. There's no calendar.
The pics are reasonably good, given the circumstances, but they aren't anything special either (normal
size is 800x600). What is pretty special about all of these sites is the high quality
of the video. Playback is 1400 kb/s, which means the movies (most of
which run 7-10 minutes) are all large files (over 100 megs). But the
movies don't always look that great because of the nature of the
environment--in the dark, on the street, on the water, being jostled by
crowds, shooting at long range, etc. You can't have everything.
Content? You must know the drill by now. Less nudity than you might think.
Almost no pussy. Mostly just tit flashing and wet t-shirt and bikini contests. Some of the girls act up a bit for
the crowd with whipped cream, etc. There are a lot of small bikinis.
Some people might not call it porn at all. Because of the way the
content is arranged it's hard to get a bead on exactly how much is here,
and a lot depends on whether you're just counting the feature material.
If you only count the featured stuff there's about 300 video clips and
30,000 pics. It's actually a pretty substantial collection, and given
the size of the files will take you a while to download.
So what's the bottom line? We like the high-quality video and the
fact that there's a lot of stuff. And the
Gorilla Gras novelty site is fun if you want to toss in the rest of what
you get with your membership. Otherwise this is a pretty generic,
pricey, and roughly put-together Spring Break site with a bunch of extra
filler content and not much personality.
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